One Step At A Time Read online

  Also by Brenda Adcock:

  Pipeline

  Reiko’s Garden

  Redress of Grievances

  The Sea Hawk

  Tunnel Vision

  Soiled Dove

  The Other Mrs. Champion

  The Chameleon

  Picking Up the Pieces

  The Game of Denial

  In the Midnight Hour

  Untouchable

  The Heart of the Mountain

  Gift of the Redeemer

  Unresolved Conflicts

  One Step At a Time

  Brenda Adcock

  Yellow Rose Books

  By Regal Crest

  Copyright © 2019 by Brenda Adcock

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. The characters, incidents and dialogue herein are fictional and any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  ISBN 978-1-61929-408-0

  eISBN 978-1-61929-409-7

  First Printing 2019

  9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Original cover design by AcornGraphics

  Published by:

  Regal Crest Enterprises

  Find us on the World Wide Web at

  http://www.regalcrest.biz

  Published in the United States of America

  Acknowledgments

  For the most part, this story is loosely based on an event that happened to a young man, someone I knew quite well. Other than that unfortunate event, everything else is something I invented in my own mind. Unlike the other stories I have written recently, I truly enjoyed writing this one because it allowed me to return to the darker side of characters that I love and the entire story came together without feeling like I was struggling. Perhaps we all have a light side and a darker side. I know I do, but have always found the darker side fascinating. Some of you might identify with that side and that’s okay because sometimes bad things happen to otherwise good people. It’s how we handle those things that make us who we are.

  The biggest problem I had writing this story was wondering whether it would be accepted by my readers because my main character isn’t the most likable woman, but I hope I was able to keep her true to herself throughout the story.

  Because my wife doesn’t read anything I write and isn’t terribly interested in lesbian literature, I have always wanted to have someone I could talk to about a story I was working on. To that end I contacted my friend and editor to ask her to read my first draft. As a result, we have had several phone discussions about various parts of this story. Having someone to toss ideas around with is an enormous help to any writer. Therefore, I am eternally grateful to Patty Schramm for her invaluable input on this story.

  I would be an ingrate or a moron if I didn’t thank my publisher, Cathy Bryerose, for her unwavering support, even when I occasionally stumbled. I hope my readers will enjoy this story and will always be grateful for your support.

  Dedication

  To Cheryl, for giving me the gift of her unwavering love and making it so easy for me to love.

  Chapter One

  MADDIE JAMES LAY on her bunk, arms folded beneath her head, and stared at the grey cinderblock walls surrounding her. The monochromatic cubical where she would spend her last night caged like an animal was depressing, but not as depressing as the last ten years at Sand Ridge Women’s Correctional Facility. She hated being caged and she hated the thought of having to report to some underpaid bureaucrat once a week. So, she sucked it up and did her whole dime. It could have been worse, she thought. The judge had slapped her with the bargain basement price for a man’s life. She’d paid her debt in full. Tomorrow she would walk into the sunshine of freedom, look up, and never see another bar or wall of chain link topped with razor wire.

  “Hey, Madwoman,” a voice rasped. “Got a smoke?”

  Maddie reached into a pocket of her overalls and took out a battered pack. She rolled over and slid it across the cell block floor.

  “I’m as nervous as a damn cat,” the inmate in the cage across from her chuckled as she shook out a generic cigarette.

  “Keep it,” Maddie said. “How long since you breathed free air, old woman?”

  “Thanks. Longer’n you been alive, kid,” the older woman said as she stuck a cigarette between her lips and rolled it around with her tongue, unlit. “Probation?”

  “Nope.”

  “I never listened because I was a smart-ass punk, but don’t you never come back here.”

  “I won’t,” Maddie said as she rolled onto her back and took a deep breath. Tomorrow. Tomorrow her life would start over. The truth was she didn’t remember much about her life before she arrived at Sand Ridge. Too much money too fast. Too much booze. Too many drugs available for the asking. Too many young girls eager to get in her pants looking for the thrill of screwing a celebrity. Too fucking many excuses. Everyone promised to come visit, but no one had. When her money was gone, so was anyone who pretended to give a shit. They moved on to the next big thrill. She would just be moving on.

  Ten Years Earlier

  “LET’S GO, JAMES!” a loud voice ordered. “Beauty nap is over!”

  Maddie squinted as she sat up in her cell in solitary confinement and rubbed her face. She turned her head toward the female guards in their gray and blue uniforms and grunted out a laugh. The bandage covering a row of stitches on the guard’s forehead was evidence of their last encounter when Maddie arrived the week before for intake, and her reaction to an unnecessary cavity search. What did they think she’d secretly crammed up her ass or pussy during the bus ride from whatever town she’d been in to her new home in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere? Within an hour of her arrival at Sand Ridge, she had smarted off and refused to obey virtually any order she’d been given, as her body rebelled against its loss of the drugs it was accustomed to and made her irritable. She found the idea of being told when to bathe, eat her meals, go to sleep or get up, all according to someone else’s schedule, repugnant. She hated being told what to do. Always had. Always would. Her failure to comply when ordered to strip and grab her ankles for a cavity search was almost the last straw. The last straw fell when a strutting, butchie guard slapped her baton in the palm of her hand and shoved her face into Maddie’s and hissed, “Would you like a little assistance, inmate?” Before Maddie could start to form another smart-ass retort, the guard poked her in the abdomen with her baton hard enough to double her over. “Now strip!” the guard ordered loudly. Maddie stood up slowly and began unbuttoning her shirt, watching as the guard grinned at her.

  Maddie glanced quickly at the guard’s nameplate. “Turn you on, Lassiter?” she grinned and slowly ran her tongue over her lips. She whipped her shirt off and dropped it to the floor. Then she reached out and grabbed Lassiter’s shirt, jerked her closer, and planted a sloppy kiss on the startled punk ass guard.

  When Lassiter pulled away, Maddie grabbed her again, ignoring the other guards behind her attempting to force Maddie to release her grip, and head-butted Lassiter, causing blood to stream down the woman’s face. “Fuckin’ pussy!” Maddie crowed triumphantly. “I didn’t hit you that damn hard.” A blow across her back and a second glancing blow to her head ended the altercation and Maddie was dragged off.

  That little outburst landed her a week in solitary for “an attitude adjustment” and the prison administration considered adding time to her sentence for assaulting Lassiter. Her learning curve on the correct way to respond when ordered to do something would be steep. Hell, she would n
ever learn, but could fake it, rebelling in subtle ways whenever possible.

  A WEEK LATER, two guards appeared outside her cell to escort her to the shower room.

  “What? No coffee, Lassiter?” Maddie asked the injured guard with a grin.

  “Shut up and get your shit, James. Last private shower for a long time.”

  After being shoved into the changing area, Maddie stripped and stepped out, twisting the knobs on the white wall to adjust the water temperature. The guards waited in the hallway and she could hear them talking. She felt sweaty and gritty. She shampooed her blonde hair. It was short and had always been cut into a spiky, cocky style that fit her public image. She leaned her head back to rinse away the soapy water and a hand covered her mouth while a second arm wrapped around her upper body, trapping her arms tightly against her sides.

  “Welcome to Sand Ridge Women’s Correctional Facility,” a low, hard voice growled in her ear. The arm tightened and something hard and metallic encircled her right wrist, biting painfully into her skin. Her left wrist was wrestled behind her back and the metal snapped closed. The person behind her held her head in a vise-like grip against their body. Maddie struggled, but the hand only tightened.

  “Keep fightin’ and I’ll snap your skinny fuckin’ white neck like a chicken, bitch,” the voice growled in her ear.

  The soapy, wet floor made standing tricky and Maddie couldn’t get away without falling. The woman behind her grabbed the handcuffs holding Maddie’s hands together and jerked them up, hooking them over the shower control. Pain shot through her shoulders. She breathed hard through her partially obstructed nose as her head was pulled forward under the water pouring from the showerhead.

  “We hear you don’t like cavity searches,” another voice rasped. “Then you’ll love this one, bitch, so get used to bendin’ over.”

  Suddenly, the hot water disappeared and freezing cold water pelted full force against her back like a million tiny knives and poured over her head. Her legs were kicked apart and the pain in her shoulders brought tears to Maddie’s eyes. She wasn’t prepared and grunted, squeezing her eyes tightly shut when she felt her body being penetrated hard and fast. Whatever it was plunged deeper with each thrust before being pulled out slowly.

  “She’s bleedin’, man,” someone said.

  “Figures. Sharpened my nails this mornin’ just for her,” a voice laughed.

  She struggled to scream, but a hand was clamped tightly over her mouth while a second hand squeezed her throat. Fingers pinched her nostrils closed and held on. “Hand me that clip,” a voice ordered. Maddie twisted her head back and forth until a blow to her abdomen stopped her. Something metallic was clipped over her nose and was followed by a strike to her abdomen that forced the air from her lungs. She began to panic without a way to suck in a breath and flailed around for a few seconds until her legs felt like spaghetti and she slumped, held up by her aching arms.

  “Next,” the now familiar voice said. Instantly, fingers roughly parted her ass cheeks and a thick finger worked its way into her ass while another object slid into her sex painfully, alternating their thrusts in and out of her body. Seconds before she passed out from pain and the lack of air, the clip slid off her nose and the hand over her mouth disappeared, leaving her gasping and shaking from the cold water.

  “Hurry up in there, James! We ain’t got all damn day,” a guard called from outside the shower room.

  She groaned when rough hands grabbed the hair on either side of her head and pulled it up. She blinked hard to clear her eyes, but the water blurred her vision. “You’re my bitch now,” a voice breathed. “Remember that, James.” Maddie jerked as a tongue outlined her ear.

  Her arms were pulled up, her shoulders throbbing as the handcuffs were released and she fell to the floor onto her knees, her sex and asshole throbbing. A hand grabbed a fistful of her hair and lifted her head, laughing, then let her head fall to the tile floor. Before she could move again she was alone, cold water beating down on her naked body like needles.

  Maddie pushed her body up. She washed quickly and dried. She made her way slowly to the changing area and pulled her issued clothing on. Her eyes were glazed over when she rejoined the guards in the hall.

  “Next time, make it faster, James,” one of the guards said gruffly. “You only get ten minutes to shower.”

  The guards accompanied Maddie to the cafeteria and showed her the procedure for meals. Maddie picked up a tray of disgusting looking food and carried it to an empty table. She sat carefully, biting her lower lip, and pushed her food around. She kept her eyes down and stared at her tray. Occasionally, she glanced up and saw guards and inmates looking at her and snickering or talking behind their hands while watching her. She was humiliated and filled with rage. She wouldn’t be anyone’s fuckin’ bitch.

  The table moved slightly as another inmate sat down. Maddie glanced up and saw a large, ebony-skinned woman smile at her. There was something in the smile that reminded Maddie of a shark. The woman’s eyes were cold and hollow. Maddie ignored her.

  “We have rec time after this. Stay close to me,” the woman said in a low voice.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Maddie sneered.

  “Your new best friend.” Her eyes scanned the top half of Maddie’s body. “Unless ya’d rather be Bree’s new bitch. She claimed ya, right?”

  “Nobody’s claimed me,” Maddie answered, her tone defensive.

  “Ya got two choices, girl. Ya can let me he’p ya or ya can get fucked every night by women ya won’t like. Your choice.” She casually nodded toward another table. “See that chunky bitch over there. That’s Bree. She owns ya.”

  “Nobody owns me!” Maddie snapped between clinched teeth.

  “She does unless ya stop it now.”

  “How?” Maddie shivered when she looked at the woman. She was almost Maddie’s size, but obviously had bigger friends. At least two.

  “How many took ya?”

  Maddie swallowed hard and felt tears forming in her eyes. She fought them off. “Three,” she admitted with a soft voice. “I think.”

  “Sit up straight and don’t be afraid to look at your attackers,” the woman ordered.

  “Who are you?”

  The woman flashed a broad smile and shoved a plastic spoonful of food into her mouth. She looked much older than Maddie, but this place could make anyone look old. “Aggie. Which guards set ya up?”

  “The two that brought me in here.”

  “They protect Bree and her group. Ya any good at fightin’?”

  “When the odds are even,” Maddie muttered. “I can hold my own.”

  “In a street fight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “My girls’ll keep the guards away and give ya a shot at Bree.”

  Maddie shook her head. “I...I hurt too much to...”

  “Ignore it. If not, you’ll have a visitor. Soon. Bree’s prob’ly already sold your services for tonight.”

  Maddie glanced toward where Bree sat, laughing as she slowly licked her food from her fingers. The same fingers that had violated Maddie less than an hour before. A calloused hand grabbed her wrist, drawing her attention back to Aggie.

  “Don’t go at her mad. Just let the others know she don’t own ya. Even if ya lose...and ya prob’ly will...they will know they’re in for a fight if they wanna rent ya.” Aggie shrugged her shoulders. “Everthin’ in here’s ’bout respect. They’ll either respect ya because ya won’t take no shit or use ya.”

  “I don’t like to be touched,” Maddie said.

  “That’s up to ya, baby girl.” Aggie stood and picked up her tray. She carried it to a conveyor belt and set it down before sauntering slowly to the rec yard.

  Maddie finished what she could of her unappetizing lunch and wiped her hands down the sides of her loose uniform pantlegs. She could feel the other inmates staring at her as she wandered out the side door of the cafeteria and blinked at the sudden in
trusion of bright sunlight. She didn’t want to do what Aggie had suggested. She hurt. Her ass and sex throbbed with each beat of her heart and there had been nothing sexually enjoyable about the invasion of her body. It inflicted pain without pleasure.

  Her crotch flexed involuntarily, reacting to the memory of the many times she had endured pain when expecting pleasure. Inflicting that pain seemed to bring her bedmates some kind of perverse pleasure and she allowed it to continue rather than be alone.

  She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, remembering that her search to achieve some kind of pleasure was what landed her in prison.

  She’d been out of control after tweaking all day. The flicker of strobe lighting caused her eyes to alternately constrict and dilate. The music from her electric guitar was so loud that when people spoke to her afterward, she couldn’t really hear them. She’d pushed her way through the surprisingly large number of fans in the backwater burg and into her dressing room. She’d barely locked the door when Courtney jumped into her arms and nearly smothered her with an all-consuming kiss.

  Maddie pulled away when her body became starved for air. Courtney’s pupils were dilated as she wrapped her body around Maddie’s until Maddie succumbed to the arousal that began to flow through her body. She carried Courtney to a chaise lounge and dropped her as she jerked at the skintight pants that seemed molded to the laughing woman’s body. Maddie fell to her knees between Courtney’s legs and began feasting on what she wanted at that moment.

  Everything was in the moment. There was never any thinking, just seeking. She was definitely out of control, but didn’t care. This was what she wanted, what she needed at that particular moment. Maddie pulled Courtney’s legs over her shoulders and held her in that perfect spot as Courtney’s body began to writhe and grind against Maddie’s mouth, begging to be taken harder and faster. No matter what, tonight Maddie would take it all. She would keep Courtney trapped in her arms until there was nothing left, no matter how much Courtney begged her to stop. Maddie felt over the top, ready to claim anything she wanted, and would take Courtney with her.